Dirty Little Secret
by stilljustme
Summary: He knew he'd never could have his happily ever after - even before his father was made Pope. But that doesn't mean he can't dream about it -Songfic to Bon Jovi's song of the same name, set in season one.


_Hit the lights_

_And I'll come crawling through your window tonight._

_Come on and send the sign_

_I'll be your dirty little secret and you'll be mine_

His breathing went heavy as he finally reached the corridor. It was dark inside the palace, but he knew the way. Hands still shaking, he opened the oaken door - and stopped dead as it rasped noisily. He didn't dare to move, but obviously the guards were not too alert tonight.

Silence embraced him as he entered the room. Utterly, emptily quiet.

He wasn't there

Micheletto swore under his breath. Breaking into a cardinal's chamber was not easy, it was dangerous, and it was stupid. Breaking into an empty cardinal's chamber was even more stupid.

He'd done it, anyway. Standing in the darkness, the assassin realized there was nothing he'd _not _do for Cesare.

Also if it meant that he had to break out of a cardinal's chamber now.

_You got me knock knock knocking at your door_

_And I'll be coming back for more_

As Micheletto left the building, he couldn't avoid imagining his master's naked, muscular body, wrapped tightly around his little sister, and the thought both upset and aroused him. His breath went heavy again, and this time he didn't care. Hiding in the shadows of a doorway, he let himself drown in his fantasies, drown in memories of pain and ecstasy, drown in blood and heat and lust.

_I light a candle_

_In the gardens of love_

_To blind the angels_

_Looking down from above_

His Eminence Cesare Borgia had indeed left to see his sister, but he didn't need to break into anything. Especially not when they were neighbors so he could came in from the back.

As Cesare made his way through the small wood that separated the Borgia's properties of the Medici's, memories of long lost days appeared in his mind.

_Lucrezia and him, lying in the grass, her looking up to the clouds above, him looking at her._

"_Do you think God hides a message for us in every cloud?" she asked. He shrugged. "I don't know. What do you think, sis?" Truth be told, he didn't mind at all; for him the only message a cloud could transport was whether it would rain or not._

_She sighed. "I think they warn us of things to come. Remember the day Juan got bitten by that cute little dog of Maria's? She told him not to underestimate it but Juan wouldn't hear and kicking the poor animal whever he saw it. Two weeks their family spent with us, and the dog never even barked." "Which drove him mad because he longed for a real enemy he could fight", Cesare laughed. He smiled at her. "So what did the clouds tell you, Crezia?"_

"_I still don't know", she answered thoughtfully; "I remember that, when I looked into the sky on the morning of that very day, I saw a horse up there. But after I heard the dog had bitten him that badly, all I could see were some dog's teeth and no horse at all…as if all the swiftness had gone."_

"_Well, it had, that's for sure", Cesare answered drily. Juan had caught fever after the attack, and for almost five days he had had to watch over him, trying to prevent his little brother from further foolish actions. Cesare had been worried, yes, but mostly he had been annoyed. He grinned. "You got right, there, sister. So what are the clouds telling you now?"_

_He immediately turned his head when he heard her sobbing. Quickly he reached out his hand, soothingly stroking the tears away. His tone was full of sorrow. "Lucrezia, dear, what's wrong?"_

_The girl shook her head, brushing his fingers off briskly. "It's nothing. It's…just a childish idea, a game. And I'm tired of playing it." Still the tears ran down her cheeks. "Forget about it, Cesare. Just forget…"her voice died away._

_Cesare rolled over he could face her properly. Gently he caressed her face again._

"_You know there's nothing you can't tell me about, sis. And you can't expect me to let something bother you that way." He softly kissed her on the forehead. "Tell me", he urged._

Cesare shook his head angrily. It had been ages since he had been so close to her, not only physically. From the very moment on his sister had seen her new husband-to-be, she had been changed. After being married to a brute like Giovanni Sforza, Antonio di Medici was a prince to her. Her heart, once an open book for Cesare to read, had closed and changed its owner.

_It tastes so bitter sweet_

_Cause I know it's not mine_

_I want to come inside_

Feeling absolutely helpless, he let the memory wash over him again.

_It's about our father", she whispered, "and you. I think it's about all our family. The clouds are all around us, and they are so dark. There are no shapes, no figures…just the overwhelming darkness." She always had been afraid of the dark. The girl turned to Cesare, her face just inches away from his own. He kept on stroking her hair, searching his mind desperately for something to stop her pain. _

"_You know, sweet sister, when the darkness is all around us, at least we won't be alone. You'll never be alone. And, talking about dark clouds", he added as raindrops started to fall, "without their rain we'd never could work our lands. And we'd never see the flowers grow." _

_Judging by the smile on her face that he had found the right words, Cesare kissed her again, then stood up and helped her onto her feet. "Now let's get in before the flowers start growing out of our bodies!"_

_Lucrezia laughed. She started to run, then, and naturally, he followed her, trying to catch her but always letting her go till they reached the door where she all of a sudden turned round and flew into his arms. He held her tightly, feeling her body relax. She smiled at him, admiration and love in her eyes. "Thanks, Cesare. Thanks for being my good oracle." _

"_Always", he promised._

_We made a promise and we keep it_

_[…]I want to feel alive_

As he reached the wood's end, the cardinal slowed his steps. He knew he wouldn't have to sneak in secretly, but that didn't mean he had to have all servants call out his arrival. Trying to move as noiselessly and elegant as Micheletto, he came closer.

When he noticed a movement on a garden-facing balcony, he stopped.

Lucrezia.

It was definitely her, and she was definitely naked, and from her crystal clear, clamant laughter and the fact of her face turned to the room behind the balcony he knew that she was definitely not waiting for him.

For a moment Cesare forgot how to breathe. Unable to move he stood in the – thank God – high grass and watched the Medici-heir's naked, muscular body, wrapped tightly around his little sister. There was nothing agitating about it.

_We look like strangers_

_When you're holding his hand_

_[…]we run like thieves_

_Through the temple of sin_

_Till we fall on our knees then you go back to him_

As his Eminence Cesare Borgia entered his palace, he found his assassin crouched in the shadows.

As the young man heard his master's steps, he woke up. Two drained, empty, deeply wounded pairs of eyes met in the night and found a sadistic consolation in the other's pain.

It was Cesare who first lowered his gaze. His voice, though, was filled with his normal arrogance. "If you spare me your intentions for tonight I won't bother you with mine", he said coolly. Micheletto grinned weakely. "As you command, Eminence."

Cesare's grin was strong, but colder even than his voice had been. "Indeed, as I command, indeed…now go and get some sleep, dog. There won't be time for dreaming anymore once we started this war. As I am sure my father told you, there's no place for love and such things when it's all about power."

With this, he left.

Micheletto remained silent, but he didn't sleep and he didn't stop dreaming.

As much as the pain in his master's eyes had hurt him, it also had resurrected his hope. One day, Cesare Borgia would be tired of loving his sister who seemed to have stopped loving him back, and he would long for someone to just adore him.

And it would be Micheletto to console him. It would be Micheletto who gave him exactly what he needed.

After all, having no time for love never had prevented people from making it.

_Hit the lights _

_And I'll come crawling through your window tonight _

_Come on and send the sign _

_I'll be your dirty little secret and you'll be mine _

_You got me knock knock knocking at your door _

_And I'll be coming back for more _

_We made a promise and we keep it _

_Our Dirty Little Secret_


End file.
